Bridezillas- Spotting them and Learning to Deal

I used to unknowingly have this look I made when the wedding requests from brides went from unreasonable to the far side of absurd in that I'd tilt my and squint my eyes, like I was trying to solve an algorithm in my head.

I finally caught myself doing it after about five years, and it was confirmed rather quickly when I made mention of it to a local wedding planner who had shared more than a handful of brides (and stories!) with me.

Her reply? "Oh yeah. That look? You've been doing that for years."

What can I say? I have a low tolerance for irrationality, and apparently, it shows.

Bridezillas were born the day the first bride-to-be asked for the reception venue to be painted to match her colors. I’d like to think they are few and more between but sadly, one takes up more time, energy and sanity that the rest of your brides in any given season.

Over time, I learned the ways of the Bridezillas- how to spot them, and eventually, how to manage them… even if that meant showing them the door.

First and foremost- learn what kind of bride you work well with, as it will only save you trouble in the end. Sometimes brides aren’t necessarily in the 'zilla category, but if the chemistry isn’t there, it is still going to be a difficult journey.

For me, I tended to attract detail oriented, overworked, Type A personalities such as myself. A personal ad for my type would read as such:

Fun but anal reception venue coordinator seeks brides-to-be with a thirst for fabulously detailed excel spreadsheets and floor length linens. Gals with a vendor list consisting of relatives, or promises of constant battles with mom, need not apply.

Now that’s not to say that I wouldn’t have appointments with brides of every type, but as I became more aware of my preferred bride, I learned to qualify the situation much sooner. While you take the time to learn “your” bride, look for these tell tale signs of a full blown Bridezilla.

When you come into contact with one, stand your ground and offer them alternative options besides hiring you.

Case in point- I took a last minute appointment a couple of years ago with an out of town bride and her mom. They were made very aware that one of the spaces was unavailable since it was being occupied by corporate group. I came armed with a photo album of the space, as well as a detailed description (Square footage! Number of windows! Dance floor dimensions!). At the end of the appointment, I kindly walked them to the exit and bid them farewell.

That is, until I found them sneaking into the forbidden space three minutes later.

The ladies were then quickly walked out of the venue by yours truly with the phone numbers of several nearby competitors…. because suddenly, we were booked solid for their weekend. And their back up weekend. And whatever weekend they hadn’t told me about yet.

Was it a necessary step? Definitely. If one is going to start off their wedding plans in that fashion, then it’s downhill from there.

Sometimes you may not be as lucky, and there are times when one slips by you. Suddenly you’re dedicating half of your work week to either answering hundreds of emails from this one individual, or hiding in your Panic Room, hoping she won’t find you.

Should you end up with a difficult bride, then know your limits. If you can’t meet her exceedingly high expectations, then it’s time to let someone else try. You’ll be amazed at how much time you get back in your day, once you’re not spending it being yelled at over the phone.

I’ve only been removed from one wedding in my life and it stemmed from someone unhappy that I wouldn’t accommodate their request for free pitchers of sodas on their table. Was I bummed that I wasn’t a fit for this couple? Sure. Did I learn to love the extra time I suddenly got back to sell my services, as well as meet the needs of my twenty-five other brides? Absolutely.

Now how do you manage a Bridezilla if you decide to tough it out? With over 700 words in this post already, perhaps I’ll save that for another day.

Ultimately, booking a Bridezilla is a lose-lose situation, but with a little self awareness and firm stance on silliness, perhaps you won’t have to keep stocking that Panic Room with snacks.

Until next time,
Meghan

Meghan Ely is the owner of OFD Consulting, a niche marketing and public relations group servicing the wedding industry. She is also the Managing Director of the Richmond Bridal Association, Contributing Writer to Virginia Bride Magazine and has a regular spot on Bridesight TV.